


Knocking On a Locked Door - Jonnor one-shot

by allfeelingeye



Category: The Fosters (TV 2013), The Fosters (TV 2013) RPF
Genre: Angst, Jonnor - Freeform, M/M
Language: English
Status: Completed
Published: 2016-09-13
Updated: 2016-09-13
Packaged: 2018-08-14 21:10:32
Rating: Not Rated
Warnings: No Archive Warnings Apply
Chapters: 1
Words: 2,192
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/8029081
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/allfeelingeye/pseuds/allfeelingeye
Summary: A one-shot based on a prompt from an anon on Tumblr.





	Knocking On a Locked Door - Jonnor one-shot

He couldn’t give less of a shit if he tried. It wasn’t his fault after all. She brought this on herself. Like she always does. Time and time again she fucks up and everyone else has to run around and pick up the pieces. Well, this time, he wasn’t. If his Moms wanted to then fine. If Mariana and the others want to, then great. He’d been to the hospital. He’d sat there amongst the tears and the sighing and the meaningless chit chat. He’d done his bit. He had his own shit to do. If I wanna cut class, I will. If I wanna get stoned, I will. If I wanna sit in my room reading comics and scratch my balls that’s what I’m gonna fucking do, okay?

 

Fuck Callie.

 

***

 

They gave all the kids some leeway with this. They all got a few days off school but eventually Lena made them go back. Jude didn’t actually mind being sent back. It freed him from the misery at home, at least for a few hours a day. School may have been full of dicks but at least he didn’t have to talk about Callie there. He didn’t have to talk about much with anyone. Having no friends helps in that regard. Being an anti-social, two-faced, miserable little shit keeps everyone away. It wasn’t always like this, of course. There was a time when he had friends. He had a best friend. For a time, he had a boyfriend. Then it went sour. Because people let you down. People are shit heads. Sisters, friends, everyone…assholes to a man (and woman).

 

Three weeks of poor attendance and a problematic attitude towards everything and everyone at school and home brought things to a head. Jude got suspended. His attendance over a three-week period was 60%. Then there was the smoking, Jude caught by a teacher at lunch break mid-way through a Newport. And telling his English teacher to “go fuck yourself”…yeah, a nice mixture of disaster. His suspension would last a week. A week?! He can’t contemplate having to sit at home for a week. Stef was on compassionate leave and so had warned she would be watching him like a hawk. No TV, no internet, no cell phone. Chores, chores and chores. That was Stef and Lena’s plan. Fuck all that he thinks. No way.

 

He considers running away. Seriously. He has nowhere to go though. No friends or family. He couldn’t go to his grandparents, obviously, as they would march him back home. His Dad? Nope…not since he politely told Donald one day a few months ago that he was a “sack of shit”. Nowhere to go, and no money either. Allowance stopped for what Stef called “the foreseeable future”. If all that wasn’t bad enough on his second day of suspension Stef made him take a drug test. Utter humiliation. She stood behind him in the bathroom while he peed into the cup. Obviously it came back positive for marijuana. He was then officially grounded for thirty days.

 

The house arrest doesn’t go well. Stef makes him get up every day at 7. School work, chores, going to the hospital, schoolwork, more chores…eat, rinse, repeat. Arguing. All the time. Complaining about everything. He was being hounded 24/7. In his opinion he was, anyway. He was at boiling point. Four days into the ‘ordeal’ he did it. He crossed the line. What started as bickering between him and his Moms descended into plate smashing in the kitchen, more Jude histrionics and two ladies at the end of their tether. When they demanded he clean the mess up he refused and told them to “fuck off”. And it got better. The whole “you will do as you’re told” line from Stef didn’t work, clearly. In fact, it brought to the surface something they thought they would never hear from one of their kids.

 

“You’re not my real Mom. Stop trying to control me.”

 

There was silence when he said it. His Moms looked at each other, in absolute shock. Crushed would be more accurate. Stef tried to respond but the words got caught in her throat. Lena reached over and put a comforting hand on her back.

 

“Jude, go to your room,” Lena says softly but sternly. He leaves quickly, sprinting up the stairs and slams his door before collapsing on the bed. He’s furious. At them. But also at himself. He shouldn’t have said that. He hasn’t even ever thought like that. So he doesn’t know why he said it. Anyone who had been around Jude recently would know why he said it though. Because he’s a dick.

 

***

 

The following two weeks are awkward. So awkward. Jude doesn’t apologise for what he said, but he reins the attitude in a bit. Callie still hasn’t woken up and the doctors are concerned now. Stef and Lena think the kids don’t know but they do. They overheard Stef talking to Mike on the phone about it. This causes Jude to stop sleeping. Now he was scared. Callie annoyed him with her selfish bullshit and interfering ways, but she was in a coma and from the sounds of it wouldn’t be waking up. He tries to make it through the school day but throws up in a math class. He’s sent home. A doctor is called for. Jude is p-prescribed sleeping pills and rest. When the doctor leaves Mariana tells him to stop being “an arrogant, selfish little prick” and to get his shit together. She does this in front of Lena who doesn’t object to her daughter’s tone or profanity. They are all done walking on egg shells around Jude.

 

It’s a Wednesday and Lena takes a personal day to get a grip on stuff at home. Things are disorganised, stuff is getting missed. Jude is asleep; she leaves him a note and heads out to Walmart to do a big grocery shop. She meets him on the cereal aisle. It’s been a while, maybe a year or so? She must look like shit as he asks her if she’s okay. She explains the situation. He’s very sorry, asks if there’s anything he can do. She thanks him. She’s used to that now. People offering help. It’s a token response isn’t it when people are going through a rough time. She asks how Connor is. Adam says he’s fine. They don’t see each other that often but he is happy. At least he thinks so. Lena makes an off-hand remark about how Jude could use a good friend like Connor right now. He asks how Jude is and Lena fills him in on some things. Adam suggests that some teenagers just get like that: belligerent; arrogant; cocky. It’ll pass, he says. She hopes so. She notices the large amount of groceries in his cart. Enough for two or more. She thought he lived alone. Oh, Connor is visiting next week for Spring Break, Adam says. Probably the last time he’ll see him before the summer. That’s nice, she thinks. So she says so. She has to go, says it was nice to see him. And tells him to say ‘hi’ to Connor from her. He watches her walk on, pushing the cart sadly. He didn’t like her a couple of years ago. She is nice though, he thinks. A real shame what’s happening to that family.

 

***

 

They’ve tried twice to bring Callie out of her coma. Neither attempt has been successful. Stef and Lena decide to be honest with their kids and so they sit them down in the living room and break it to them. The doctors will make one more attempt to bring Callie out of her coma and if it doesn’t work they will have to talk about ‘options’. They all know what this means. Mariana sits sobbing quietly. Jude’s sat on the step leading down into the living room. As the others all get up and leave he stays there. It’s just him and Moms. He doesn’t know if he should cry or say something or…and he can barely look at them. It’s been weeks since he’s had a conversation with either of them. They look shattered. Broken. He probably looks the same. He’s about to lose another member of his family. How the fuck do you navigate through that?

 

“I want to go and see her,” he says finally. “I’ve not been for a few days.”

 

Lena agrees to take him. They can just make visiting hours if they leave now.

 

It’s brief. Jude doesn’t say anything. He can’t talk to a comatose person. It’s pointless. Google told him so. He squeezes her hand a couple of times. Wonders if this is the last time he’ll see her alive. If she even is alive. They leave. Set off for home. Then it happens.

 

It starts with tears running gently down his face. Lena doesn’t notice this part. She only catches on when his sobbing breaks the silence in the car. He starts rambling incoherently, gesturing with his hands. By the time she pulls onto the driveway he’s hysterical. She runs inside to get Stef. Jesus and Brandon have to carry him upstairs. He curls up on the bed. They try to get him to take some sleeping pills but he won’t. Lena suggests leaving him for the night and seeing how he is in the morning.

 

And he’s the same. Like he’s completely shutting down. He won’t eat or drink anything. Jesus is pretty sure Jude hasn’t even gotten up and been to the bathroom. Moms want to call the doctor again but worry about him being hospitalised. The doorbell rings and Lena bustles off to answer it. Seconds later she calls Stef downstairs. Mariana perches herself on the end of Jude’s bed. He’s not crying now but has gone slightly catatonic. He’s still in the foetal position and so she gently places a hand on his ankle, hoping it offers some semblance of reassurance.

 

She hears footsteps coming up the stairs. Moms and…someone else. She has to wait until the person is in the doorway so she can see that it’s…

 

He’s looking only at Jude, a mixture of fear and confusion pasted across his face. Lena beckons for him to go into the bedroom. Mariana gets up from the bed but he doesn’t look at her as he moves past her and closer to the bed. Jude has his back to all of them so doesn’t know he’s there. He turns around to face the three women in the doorway and they take this glance to mean they should leave. So they do, leaving the door open. Slowly, Connor sits on the edge of Jude’s bed. After a while he reaches out and places a hand on Jude’s upper arm, causing him to spin around.

 

His eyes, Connor thinks…red, puffy…and so so sad. Dark circles underneath. He looks terrible. Not like the Jude he knew. Older, but…still so child-like. Jude can’t hold it in anymore and he breaks down again. He’s got a hand over his face, as if that will disguise how upset he is. Connor moves a bit closer.

 

“Jude…” he whispers softly. “Jude, stop and look at me.”

 

It takes a couple minutes for Jude to settle down. He takes the hand away and looks up at Connor. They haven’t spoken in two years. Two long years. And now all Jude wants to do is look at him. Hoping he can make it all better.

 

“Talk to me, Jude.” That same soft, reassuring tone. It makes Jude want to talk. So he does. About everything. Ad Connor sits and listens. For hours. Eventually Jude sits up and Connor moves to sit next to him, both boys propped up against the headboard. At some point they are hand in hand. Jude doesn’t remember who touched who first. Connor does. It was Jude. Jude needed the contact. And Connor was happy to let him. Jude was shattered. And he didn’t even know everything. Only the bits his Dad had told him.

 

At lunchtime Lena tentatively approached the bedroom door. Jude quickly looked away when he met her gaze. He felt shame. Abject shame. Connor excused himself and said he was going to get a glass of water from the kitchen. Stef went upstairs to join them. They were up there for over an hour before Lena returned to the kitchen and said Jude was asking for him. Jude had been crying again, that much was obvious. He looked drained but happy to see Connor again. His ex-boyfriend sat back down on the bed. He had listened and comforted. He’d held his hand. He was seeing him at his lowest ebb. But he didn’t pity Jude. Jude didn’t need pity, and probably didn’t deserve any anyway. No, what Connor saw was a broken boy. His ex-boyfriend. His ex-best friend. But still someone he thought of constantly. And someone he wanted to help. Because selfish assholes are people too.

 

He took Jude’s hand again. And smiled at him.  

**Author's Note:**

> On Twitter I'm @allfeelingeye
> 
> On Tumblr I'm allfeelingeye and my anons are open.


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